Tuesday, August 26, 2008

One step at a time

It was a busy last week, as I said, I talked to my daughter; aired some feelings (I have more to go) and took some time to myself.

My daughter has been looking, really "looking" at my website and has come up with some suggestions for me. I am a novice, she is a part-time student of web site design to quote her, and she will try to help keep me on track. She and her husband have their own computer business, so I know she wouldn't make a mess out of my site, and if I don't like something she suggests, I can try it, frown and revert to the old stuff - the final choice is after all mine. But she is a good daughter, LOL.

I read some more of More to Me, a blog of a wonderful woman named Megg coming to terms with her feelings about lots of things we all face at one time or another. This site makes you realize that you can want things for yourself, you can do it, and one step at a time, you will get it if you believe in yourself. Check her out.

I took 3 days to myself and went camping. Well, it started out that a group of us were going, but they fell by the way side one by one. I had all my ducks in a row, fully loaded and I headed out by myself with my dog. We had some wonderful walks along the trails that surround the lake and the campground. We did a couple of power walks to make sure my dog still knows that I'm Alpha female, and lots of stop and sniff walks. The power walks have a pretty tight reign on the leash and the dog walks close to you without pulling every which way. The stop and sniff walks are just that - and we stopped, and we stopped, and we stopped - only the dog sniffed though. About half way through most of our walks, the dog came over and just walked next to me - I think she went into "sniffer overload". We then just found a rock or log to sit on for a while, or went back to camp to relax. I finished a book (could have been better), I worked on my Knobby Knitter, you know those spool things with the nails that make the long knitted strings..... if I had a better camera, I would post a picture...

I'm not sure what I'm going to make with this long knitted string, but by the time I run out of yarn, I may come up with something even if it's only a hot pad - not my colors, but it would work, LOL.

It was my Mom's birthday, 81, this past Saturday and I didn't get to call her until yesterday, but she 'figured' I was camping since I didn't call her. She always sounds so surprised and happy when I call that she makes me feel like a cherished daughter. It is some good feeling. We talked about the package that I sent, and she hasn't gotten yet, with all the card making goodies in it. I sent card stock, 3 pairs of fancy edge scissors, and blank cards with envelopes, stickers, and a few other things. She is really looking forward to going through the box!

I got an email from my daughter yesterday morning and she had sent a bouquet of flowers to her Grandma, along with card making supplies: pre-made cards & envelopes, plain paper, & lots of stickers . . . now I tell you, do great minds think alike?

My daughter also left me with a little thought, and I will share it with you:

"And take down one giant at a time."

Wishing you sunshine...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

. . . aftermath

After my post of yesterday, my daughter called to make sure that I was OK. I enjoyed our talk very much, and just went a bit further telling her my feelings, and that it wouldn't take long for me to get back to normal (hmmm, scary thought!)

I feel very much better for having written what I did, and that I can now go forward and take care of some things in my life. I am working hard on facing my demons - procrastination, fear of success and getting over my need of approval from others. I must say that my changing outlook on things are due to a blog I ran across very late last night - it's called More to Me. I started reading and could not believe that there is another out there that have the same feelings and fears as I do. I just knew that I had to read the whole blog from beginning to end. I'm still way back in the archives, but will read some of Megg's blog every day until done.

I feel inspired by Megg and am in awe of her ability to verbalize exactly how I feel.

I want to leave you with another inspirational quote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

Saturday, August 16, 2008

. . . and maybe just some whining ?

I'm stuck inside due to the heat, it's too hot to breathe out there! In our neck of the woods, 96 deg. is just too hot! even with a slight breeze. Thank goodness that the heat wave is going to break on Monday. On Monday the temp. will drop about 10 degrees, and by Wednesday the Weather Channel says it will be 63 with a chance of rain! WOW, that's quite a difference, but welcomed all the same.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, some are interesting, some are very crafty, but all are intriguing. Most of the blogs all seem to have begun somewhere in early 2006. There are a few that go way back before that, and some that like mine - are just starting out. I like to go back in time with the bloggers to see what prompted them to start and to follow the happenings of their lives to the present. Some are accounts of crafting projects and the progress and development of their crafts. Others have given accounts of their lives, good, funny, sad, frustrating and enlightening - and I've enjoyed them all.

I started my blog with the hope that it could help me learn, expand my horizons and get my 'sh*t' together and set up a routine schedule for getting my life and website, Beading for Beginners, heading in the right direction. I guess I'm a slow learner - my life seems to just move forward one day at a time, not changing much, and my website, which I had, and still have, great plans for seems to sit and stagnate. I get the feeling sometimes that I'm afraid of succeeding in my quest, sounds silly I know, but what else would be holding me back? I've looked at the overwhelming task I've set for myself, and just flinch. I know I need to stop looking at the WHOLE big picture, and just take little baby steps, looking at each segment of the website, and working on it. If I do that every day or week, it will be what I want it to be before I know it . . . I just need a swift kick, a huge RUDE awakening, and maybe someone to tell me that I'm doing good.

Feeling sorry for myself? ? ? maybe - I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, but I need to get it out in the open, and where is it more open than on a blog?!?!?!

I've come to realize, that most of my close friends are not really interested in what I'm trying to do. Period. I've said it. They don't care much! I do have a 'soul' friend in Nebraska, and she cares very much - that I know. She has a life and can't babysit me and MY project - she gives input when she can, and the input is honest, but I don't expect her to hold my hand and do it with/for me....... maybe it's that the people I count on, my friends here, are letting me down in some way? maybe I expect too much from them..... maybe I'm letting their lack of interest get me down.....

I get so angry at times that I end up stomping around the house, not knowing what to do with myself, crying, sniveling and just getting a general worthless feeling about myself. The more I cry and snivel the angrier I get and then the "I'll show them!!!" kicks in for a while. Key words here: "FOR A WHILE" . . . and then it's back to the same old thing . . .

I know I'm probably not making a lot of sense right now, but as I'm writing I'm seeing the pathetic side of myself. I know I can't be the only one in the world that has feelings like this, but at 61 years old, wouldn't you think I'd be over this kind of thing and just do what I need to do? I don't need their approval for anything I do, but I really would like a tiny bit of interest once in a while.

Maybe, I'm also a bit afraid of what the rest of the world will think of my site . . . and for some reason I do care, I care a lot.

I think that maybe I feel a bit like the statue in the following quote:

"Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue" (Author unknown)

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Animals, animals every where ! !

I've been feeding Dale & Candy's animals since Tuesday night. They are a fair with their daughter's 4-H project - - 2 goats! But they left behind 2 other goats, 9 rabbits, and 24 birds - a mixture of turkeys, ducks and chickens. They are not hard to take care of, but I have to drive a mile to get there (and then home) 3 times a day.

Around 9 a.m. I go up and let the birds out - they are already squawking at me to "Open that door!!!" They rush out like water after a broken damn! The first place they head is over under the regular bird feeders. Then they kind of wander around finding their spot for the day, or at least for the time being. Depending on the condition of the wading pool, I refill with 'new' water, or just top it off.

The rabbits take a bit more time and care. During this heat that we've had here in Southern Oregon, the rabbits need a fresh bottle of frozen water. They lay next to them when they get hot. Rabbits overheat very fast. We then need to check grain and give them a handful of alfalfa. Then they're happy!

The two remaining goats are easy - just check to see if they have alfalfa, and give them some grain.

Most of the time it only takes me 30-40 minutes depending on my speed, but then again, I don't have to clean the bottom of the ark! That will be Kerri's job when fair is over......

I go back up late afternoon (5-5:30) to check them all out for the night - the last trip will be around 8:30 to close the gate on the birds. They gather at dusk so they are easier to herd into the pen. Picturing myself running around trying to gather up birds is just too laughable to even consider. I prefer to wait. There is one perk that I thoroughly enjoy - I get to keep eggs........ nothing like fresh right out of the bird!!

OMG!!! I got to thinking the other day that it is only 8 week 'til opening day of deer season. Holy Cow! It shouldn't be that close! 3 months away would be more like it, but nooo, I just checked the calendar again, and yup! 8 weeks, that's it.

Wishing you sunny side up eggs!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

How to mangle a Mango . . .

. . . in one easy step . . . Now that should have been a video!

Our last camping trip out, Linda was kind enough to invite the "Monday remainder" of the whole camping group over for brunch. Just lovely - eggs, sausage, both regular and Italian, hash browns and Mango. She had sliced the mango up so nice - I gathered that there were several by the amount of slices. I had never had mango before, but I tried and I loved!!!

OK, now it's several weeks later, and I've bought a couple of mangoes. Seem like a good snack right about now . . . I cut into it like I would an avocado, try to twist the two halves apart, nothing doin . . . I then try to cut again and twist, nope, just more mango juice on the counter . . . Hmmm ? ? ? what the .... ? ? ? Now I know that the skin is pretty thick, so I try to peel it. What a mess! I have mango juice and bits and pieces of peel all over the kitchen and my hands... (I looked for the hidden camera) I figure that I have made such a mess of this poor mango that I just need to dig in with the teeth . . . tasted real good, but I think I'll ask Linda how to properly slice a mango! I really don't want to go through that again, and can you just see it . . . showing off my mangled mango skills in front of other people? Horrors . . . !

Well, my dog (me too!!) is finally getting a bit of relief from her terror of thunderstorms. I have her on medication, talked to an animal behaviorist and started the training exercises to prove myself the alpha female. SueAnn, my dog, is starting to look to me for guidance. We have power walks to do, but not right now as there are thunderstorm clouds overhead, but maybe later when the day cools down . . . now that's not quite what I mean - it's only 72 at the moment - but the humidity is very high! . . . and it's hilly where we walk.

I had an eye appointment yesterday, it had only been 3 years since I've been . . . and not too surprising, I need a new prescription. Not sure what the insurance will pay for the exam, but nothing on the new lenses, nada, zip, zilch. Cost me $127. It would have been $102. more for the transition lenses, so I decided to wait. I'm also not sure if they can do the transition stuff since my glasses are tinted slightly pink..... hmmm, will have to remember to ask next time.

I've lived here in my house for almost 7 years, but the transfer station (trash) is now giving us fits and starts about bringing burn barrels to dump. I guess they have had a few fires due to hot embers left in the barrel...... so we decided to forgo the mess of taking the ashes out of the burn barrels and putting them into black plastic - could you see me after doing that on a breezy day - uh huh, go ahead and laugh!!!! The sight would be hysterical!

I called the trash company, and asked about price, size of barrels, etc. I can have pick-up for $14.88 per month if I supply my own barrels - 3-32 gal barrels with weekly pick up. Not bad, but I'll tell you, those 32 gal barrels look sooo small after dealing with the 55 gal burn barrels! I also made sure the little cans have wheels . . . I have a gravel driveway so we'll see how well those itty, bitty, tiny wheels do. AND how well will they behave on the snow and ice we get? Hmmm, I guess I'll find out as soon as we get some snow.

I do a lot of different crafts and have been very impressed with all the crafty folks I've run across here in the blogosphere! I've ordered some really nice books based on recommendations read here, and I've even ordered some books about needle felting. Just what I need, a new craft! NOT!!!!!! but I'm going to do it anyway! One book I got is Kyuuto! Japanese Crafts Fuzzy Felted Friends by Saori Yamazaki and the other is little felted animals by Marie-Noelle Horvath .

Now I'm looking for a starter felting kit. I saw one the other day, now let's see if I can remember where!

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Ready for a road trip . . .

I've been in kind of a funk lately . . . nothing is any fun, nobody is any fun, nobody cares if I have any fun . . . that kind of thing. Usually means I'm ready for a road trip. Short is fine, whole day trip is better. Multi-day trips to the coast are the best! Well, right now even a short get out of the house type trip would help. But where to? Don't know . . . with gas so expensive it's really hard to enjoy oneself anywhere you go.

I could do a trip around the world on Google Earth with all the wonderful pictures, but it still doesn't get me out of the house, which is the idea for a road trip!

I'm stuck in this funk . . . and I don't know how or what to do to get out of it. Well, something will happen soon . . . someone will come by . . . someone will call . . .

I miss my girlfriend in Nebraska a whole bunch and I left there almost 7 years ago..... she and her husband came out to see me 6 years ago while they were on a West Coast vacation. We met in Las Vegas in 2003 I think it was, for a Decorative Painters convention. Boy did we have fun! My girlfriend and I spent money, her husband gambled and WON!!!

What I miss most is the every day stuff. Working together, going out to lunch or dinner, and thrifting! We would find the most fabulous stuff, laugh, and put most of it back on the shelf or hanger! Then there was the one Saturday a month where many of us would get together at her house for a craft day. You brought something to finish, something to start or anything you needed help with, and every one pitched in with at least ideas and laughter on how to fix or finish the project.

I have friends who craft, but getting together is very hard - there is so much going on in all our lives. Back when (in Nebraska) there were a bunch of us, so if someone couldn't make it that month, it was OK as there were others that could, and we had a wonderful day just doing "stuff"! I miss that a whole lot. And my interests are not others interests and vice versa...... so I miss my crafting group.......

OK, enough of this . . .

wishing you all sunny days